I had checked up on the status of an application at a retail store I had gotten an interview at earlier in the week, and had been told that the manager would get in touch with me the day I had the interview for the internship.
Complicated, complicated. Well, I got a call from the retail store while I was driving back home from the internship interview, and let it go to voicemail since I don’t like answering my phone while driving. And I prayed. And I prayed. And I talked to my mom. And prayed some more.
And, like most girls, I talked to my mom to figure my own problems out. She is one of the best listeners that I know… And she didn’t give advice; she just let me spill and prompted me to weigh out the decision. Waiting around to hear about the internship would drive me crazy while on vacation, and trying to relax about everything that’s plagued me for the last few weeks. But the pay was good, and I didn’t even know if the retail place was going to offer me a job.
At the time, and now, I still realize that these kinds of decisions can shape someone’s life. Yes, it may just be a “summer job,” but these kinds of experiences can mold us in ways that we never imagined. How do we make the right decision? I was tempted… SO tempted… to stick with waiting out for the internship because the pay and hours would be better than any other retail position I applied for. And it would look good on my resume.
But eventually, after deciding against the internship, I called the retail store back, and took the job that they offered me. I waited to feel remorse, or regret, but it didn’t come. I felt peace. Yes, the hours may not give me a lot of flexibility, and the pay isn’t nearly as good, but the women I will be working with seem very friendly and helpful. I thanked God that I didn’t have to worry about not having a job while I went on vacation with my family. I thanked Him that all my scurrying around to find something finally paid off.
My joy was not marred by the internship company calling me later that afternoon (after I had finished the paperwork for becoming an employee for the retail position), offering me the internship. I couldn’t believe that I didn’t feel bad about the situation.
The peace and the joy are what tipped me off that this was the right decision from a faith perspective. I knew that this is a very important summer for me; it necessitated a choice between being content with getting a little cash to pay for gas next school year, and having a lot more money and less time to spend in service.
Because I already know my schedule for June (I love how they put it together ahead of time), I know that I will have time to go to daily Mass and adoration every week. I can volunteer at the library again, probably, which I loved doing last summer. I can get weekends off next month to spend time with people coming in from out of town, and going up to school to visit.
And this peace… It’s wonderful. Because it reminds me of the peace I felt when I knew I made the right decision about where to go to school, how to get involved at the Newman Center, and who to disciple through FOCUS, and who to ask to be my roommate. And I know it doesn’t come from me. It comes from God.
I just had to do my part (applying), and he took over and made things happen like they were supposed to. I know it’s not going to be a piece of cake; no job is easy. But I know I’m where he wants me to be, and that gives me hope.
Verses from my favorite psalm had been going through my head throughout this whole struggle, and it’s actually in the readings for today… Perfect! : )
“I raise my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? It comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.”
–Psalm 121:1-2
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