Ever since Sunday Mass, I've been so drawn to the parable of the pharisee and the tax collector praying in the temple... And it really makes me think that I've always been stuck in this rut of not realizing how self-righteous I can be so often like the pharisee, and yet doubt God's forgiveness even after I've confessed my sins to him like the tax collector. Where is the happy medium? Trusting in God's forgiveness, but recognizing sinfulness in a proper fashion...
This is one of those times that I wish someone else did read this blog, because this is something I didn't realize that I've been struggling with for so long, and I could use some advice. It's really holding me back from becoming the best version of myself, and I feel like I can't figure it out. I suppose I'll keep bringing it to prayer and hope that God will grant me the grace to see more clearly.
Maybe it's about loving deeper and loving wider. Not just going through the motions, or trying to get through my day, but actually living. Not being afraid of being vulnerable or humiliated. Actually believing that God loves me as I am, but that He also wants me to become the best version of myself. And that's all I actually need in this world. Other things can be wonderful and beautiful, but they're not God.
Lord, grant me the grace to strive for proper humility.
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